Finally Letting Go
by prsweetie
Summary: ONESHOT..AU Sometimes the forgiving and letting go is the most difficult thing that a person has to do. Read as a daughter finally lets her soul be healed.


_A/N: Now I know that I have three stories that really need my attention and I promise they will be updated very shortly. However, I was having a conversation with someone and this story just seemed to smack me in the face. Now there is no specific character in this story, so please feel free to use your imagination._

_The song is I'm Ok by Christina Aguilera._

* * *

She slowly walked through the hospital hallways as she looked for the room marked 3514. Her long brown hair washed over her face like a blanket to hide her from the world. This wasn't something that she wanted to do, but she knew in her heart that this was the only way to make things right. She had to remind herself that she wasn't 11 years old anymore. She was a grown woman. Hell, she was a wife, a mother. She had established herself as a force to be reckoned in the 9-5 world. She was strong, confident and fearless on any given day.

_Once upon a time there was a girl  
In her early years she had to learn  
How to grow up living in a war that she called home  
Never knew just where to turn for shelter from the storm_

Yet the idea of walking in this room shook her core in a way that was unfamiliar. She got the phone call explaining the circumstances and after many sleepless nights and constant encouragement from her husband, she decided to just get this over with..

_Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face  
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place  
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room  
Hoping it would be over soon_

Walking towards the room, she saw some faces that she hadn't seen in years. She didn't consider them her family, but they did share a blood line somewhere down the line. Hell, she couldn't even remember half of their names. Locking eyes with an aunt, she simply nodded as she placed a hand on the door handle. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and faced her past.

It's amazing when roles become reversed. She honestly didn't know how to take the sudden change of events. The last time that she had laid eyes on this man, she was stuck in a corner, with her arms wrapped around her body to shield herself from the blows that were coming her way.

Now she stood, towering over him, as his body seemed to deteriate in front of her eyes. His big arms that held such force and pain were now filled with wires. His brown eyes were glassed over due to medication as opposed to expressing anger and rage. He looked over at her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She vowed to herself that she would be strong and have her final say. Clearing her throat, she tried to ignore the confusion laced on his face.

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday  
And I'm OK_

"I don't even know why I'm here. I always said that if you ever died, I would wear red to your funeral and blast Happy Day through my stereo. Now I'm staring at you and I want to laugh. I'm laughing at how our lives turned out. For the longest time, your memory followed me where ever I went. I would get a smell and the tears would fall down my face and I couldn't explain why.

I hated the world and fought anyone that tried to get close. I surrounded myself with a brick wall and I was damned if anyone was going to knock it down. I was filled with so much hate and rage. But most of all I was filled with questions.

_I often wonder why I carry all this guilt  
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built  
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door  
The echoes of a broken child screaming "please no more"  
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done?_

Questions of what I had done wrong to make you hate me so much. Why did you do those things? How could you have hurt me so much? How could you display love to everyone else but hate to me? I was a child, what did I ever do to you?

_For you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on_

I thought I was you. I was scared to have kids for fear that I would do to them what you did to me. I swore my kids were going to be filled with fear and sadness because I wasn't worthy of being loved or loving someone else."

She didn't mean for the tears to fall. But they started to stain her face like a destroyed painting. She continued despite feeling as though her chest was caving in. When she spoke, her voice seemed to raise beyond her control.

"But you know what's funny, I'm NOT you. I am worthy of being loved and it took me a long time to realize that but now I do. While you were blaming everyone else for your problems, I was putting myself through college. I have a family now. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally even when I don't always love myself.

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday_

My kids look at me with such love that it's the most amazing thing in the world and I couldn't imagine ever bringing them harm. And do you know what's the best part? They adore their father. You see, I married a man that respects his wife and loves his children. He never brings harm to those around him and I thank God everyday for him.

_It's not so easy to forget  
All the marks you left along her neck  
When I was thrown against cold stairs  
And everyday I'm afraid to come home  
In fear of what I might see next_

So I guess in some sick and twisted way, I'm here to thank you. Yeah, don't look shocked. I am myself. I'm thanking you because if you didn't try to fuck my head up so much, I wouldn't have fought so hard to be a better person.

I needed to let you know that I'm ok. I wanted you to see that for yourself, because no matter how much you tried, you did not break me. I'm still standing. I'm standing with my head high and all my parts still in tact.

_Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid_

I'm letting you go now. You are no longer going to hold a part of my memory. I needed to come here and tell you that I forgive you. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe you don't deserve forgiveness, but I'm giving it to you anyway."

_Strength is my mother for all the love you gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday  
And I'm OK_

The young woman wiped the tears from her eyes as she pushed her back from her face. She cast one last glance over her shoulder as she begun to walk away forever.

"Goodbye"

Leaving the room, she immediately locked eyes with her husband, who had been waiting patiently for her to return. Ignoring the others around her, she quickly ran into his open arms. She gasped loudly as a calm wave washed over her bother. Not even bothering to stick around as the doctors rushed in the room to tend to the loud beeping noise. Instead she simply walked away.

_I'm OK_


End file.
